SNORK [snawrk]

December 14, 2013

White Christmas

The excitement of Christmas, and all ita wonders, can dwindle for some of us, as we age. Rather than embracing a time for rejoicing, or devotion (should one reflect on the actual meaning of Christmas), the season can become a drudge of extra chores that nobody needs to add to their overloaded agendas. Often, at this…

October 10, 2013

Very Bad “Car-ma”

New York State has a “Lemon Law” to protect consumers if they buy a new car that seems to have very bad karma. But what if the car isn’t the problem? What if it’s really your mechanic who’s the lemon? Or what if the unthinkable happens – both car and mechanic have the worst mojo…

October 3, 2013

Killer Instinct

Competition can bring out the best in us, or the absolute worst of our animal nature. I am highly competitive, but when push comes to shove, I fall apart in spectacular ways because I lack the killer instinct. Some years ago, I was an archer, traveling around the country to compete in tournaments. One of…

September 19, 2013

What’s Cooking?

Whenever I watch cooking shows on television, I’m always amazed at how foolproof the recipes seem to be. It’s the same thing time and time again…the chefs chop and dice lots of ingredients, they stir and toss and sauté, plate and taste…making it all look so effortless. When they sample the food, their reactions never…

September 12, 2013

My Friend

There used to be a white-hot rage ever-present beneath my good-natured exterior. People wouldn’t have believed this about me, but if you’ve ever been a passenger in my car, you might know what I’m referring to. Yes. I admit it. I have occasionally been “roadragious.” [If you’re clacking your tongue already, you’d better pace yourself.…

August 29, 2013

Patching Things Up

Have you ever used a transdermal patch? It’s like a George Foreman grill for the body: Set it and forget it! When you slap on one of those babies, you can passively self-medicate for hours or even days without a second thought. If you’re not familiar with them, here’s how they work…gluey plastic patches, laced…

August 22, 2013

Next stop, Willoughby!

If you are a fan of the old Twilight Zone reruns, you may have seen the episode about an overwhelmed and hen-pecked executive who dozes off on a commuter train. His dreams take him back to 1888 and the idyllic, wholesome town of Willoughby. Well, I’m here to tell you, Willoughby really exists. You’ll find…

August 15, 2013

Please Release Me

Parents have lots of endearing nicknames for their kids: Budgie, Smoojie, Jellybean… For occasions when their children are being needy, I’ve heard parents call them Velcro, The Warden, The Cling-On… And during those especially trying times: The Barnacle or The Hemorrhoid (always said with love, of course). In our house, you would be known as…

August 8, 2013

Fluffy Rosner, Guest Blogger

This will be a short post because I don’t have thumbs, so typing is kind of hard for me. I’m filling in for my mom because she went on vacation…without me. I’m not saying I should have gone with her…and daddy…and my brother…and my sister (basically everybody else, but me). I know it’s hard to…

August 1, 2013

TotallyClassyItalian!®

For some reason, it seems everybody wants to be Italian. “Who can blame them?” you ask. After all, consider the gloriousness Italians have contributed to art, medicine, literature, gastronomy, and politics (okay, maybe not politics). Look at the legions of spectacular Italians throughout history, such as Michelangelo, da Vinci, Dante, DeNiro, or the unparalleled Medici…